


Sorry Doesn't Mend A Broken Heart

by PlayerOneMell



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Cutting, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Illness, M/M, Pining, Self Harm, Teasing, boyf riends - Freeform, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: Jeremy cringes thinking about Michael storming out on him. Jeremy really fucked up, but he wanted Michael to come back. That's why he hadn't left the house since Wednesday. He stopped eating because he was nervous; his stomach simply bubbling at the thought of Michael hating him forever. He wants to stare into his chocolate eyes and feel warm like he did when he had the courage to look at Michael. He wants to to stay in Michael's sweatshirt and cuddle with him wrapping Michael in the fabric. Jeremy wants to shelter and protect Michael from harm…but he seems to be the one who caused it…and it's something he may never be able to admit.Jeremy and Michael get in a huge fight. As Jeremy gets ill from not having the SQUIP he prays Michael will take care of him. Michael comes to the rescue, but he can still feel the aches in his heart. There's only one way to mend a broken heart. Can those boys find a way to say those three words?





	Sorry Doesn't Mend A Broken Heart

Michael left all his problems in the bathroom where they deserve to die. He's happy to have Jeremy back in his life, even with his peppy girlfriend, Christiiiiine. The boys play Mario kart in the basement of Jeremy's house. Michael seems to be playing differently, he doesn't go with the motion of his kart. Jeremy pauses the race, mid jump.

“Michael, are you all right?” Jeremy asks.

Michael seems to tense. Jeremy doesn't know what he did to Michael, he was drunk! Michael just had so much concern for Jeremy, he never let out the anger. Michael nods hoping that Jeremy doesn't notice the tensity in his shoulders.

“No, don't lie to me.” Jeremy says sliding closer to Michael. “Talk to me.”

That's just the thing, this isn't something they can just talk about. Michael needs to scream or something. Jeremy hurt him so badly, it still stings. It doesn't help that Michael is completely pining for Jeremy, but what Jeremy did was also totally uncalled for. Jeremy slides even comfortable which heightens Michael's anger, but also his fears.

“Michael please.” Jeremy just can't handle the silence. “I want to know what you're thinking.”

Michael's heart begins to ache. He doesn't want to yell at his precious Jeremy. He just got Jeremy back, and what if this ruins everything?

“I'm here for you.” Jeremy says sweetly.  
“But you weren't.” Michael snaps.

Michael slides his controller over to the station and grabs Jeremy's. Michael shuts off the television ruining the rest of their tournament. Jeremy is about to open a can of worms, and its going to hurt harder than getting hit with a red shell.

“What?”  
“You called me a fucking loser!” Michael snaps. “You ever think about how I felt?” Michael just keeps going. “You fucking made sure you couldn't see me! Afterwards you will wanted Christine, and disregarded my pain. You never apologized Jeremy!” Michael shouts trying not to let his jealousy out.  
“I'm sorry Michael.”

Michael turns around giving Jeremy a cold shoulder. Michael was so hurt by Jeremy's words. How could he do this? He's breaking Jeremy, and he doesn't want to lose him.

“Sorry doesn't mend a broken heart.” Michael says putting his hood up to hide his blush.  
“Michael I didn't want to hurt you.”  
“No, you just wanted to survive! BUT YOU WERE! You're all Christiiiiiiineeee! You went through hell for that girl, and don't apologize to the people that you hurt!”

Jeremy is shocked by this release of anger. Jeremy has no idea that Michael has been feeling this way for so long.

“I've got emotions too you know.” Jeremy fires back not realizing what he's doing.  
“No fucking shit.” Michael says, he takes a new posture mocking Jeremy. “CHRISTIIIIINEEEE CHRISTIIIIINEEEE CHRISITTIINNEEEE CANIGULA!”  
“Fuck you Michael Mell!” Jeremy shouts angrily. He takes a new posture mocking Michael. “MY NAME IS MICHAEL! MY MUSIC IS GNARLY! I LIKE GETTING STONED BECAUSE IM THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT THAT EVERYONE KNOWS! IM SUCH A LOSER!” Jeremy whines like Michael.

Michael looks at him coldly. Jeremy is shocked he calls Michael a loser again. Michael grabs his backpack and runs out the door hiding his tears. He doesn't need Jeremy to be a jackass.

“Michael! I'm sorry!” Jeremy calls after him.  
“Sorry doesn't mend a broke heart.” Michael slams Jeremy's front door in his face.

Michael drives home in complete and utter distress. He is driving slowly at first, but as time goes on he's driving faster and faster. Cars are honking and the noise is getting to be just too much. Michael slams on the brakes before crashing into a car. He pulls over to the side of the roll and cradles himself.

“What have I done?” Michael asks himself.

Michael feels tears escape him and he slams his head into the steering wheel causing it to honk. Michael lets out a low “ugh” as the horn is beeping. He eventually gets back on the road and starts driving, safely this time, home.

——————

Michael hasn't seen Jeremy in two days. Michael's concern grows as he notices Christine looks exhausted. Did Michael really hurt Jeremy? Is Jeremy okay?…Is Jeremy alive? Michael has to ask himself these questions as he heads home for the weekend.

Life is a little lonely for Michael, without Jeremy around. He sits in his basement by himself. He falls asleep on his bean bags Friday night. Somewhere in between Friday and Saturday there's frantic knocking on Michael's door. Michael adjusts his glasses and walks towards the door to see a crying Christine. Michael doesn't dislike Christine, he's just jealous of her.

“Michael, there's been an extreme emergency. I don't know what to do.” Christine rambles out frantically. Michael has never seen Christine unhappy.  
“What is it?” Michael asks.  
“It's Jeremy.” She responds quickly.

Michael feels his heart sink. He feels awful about their last conversation. What is wrong with Jeremy? He's perfect…but what happened?

“What…what is it?” Michael asks shaking.  
“He's extremely ill. Michael he asked for you. He said you probably wouldn't want to see him.”  
“NO! I need to see him. Is he okay?” Michael walks out of the door. “Christine did you walk here?”

Christine nods frantically and Michael gets them both into his PT Cruiser. The only other person to ever ride in Michael’s car was Jeremy, and he didn’t like that Christine is sitting where Jeremy usually sits.

“Is he at home?” Michael asks quickly pulling out of the driveway.  
“Yes. Michael you have to be quick. I've never seen Jeremy just start to fade like this so quickly. He stopped eating a few days ago, but now he-“  
“He **WHAT**?” Michael says pulling on the brakes in front of Jeremy's house.

Michael can hear his heart racing. Did he do this to Jeremy? Is this all his fault? If he truly loves Jeremy, how could he do this to him? He turns the car off, but seems to stay frozen in the car. What if Jeremy is okay and this is all an elaborate trick? What if Jeremy hates him? Jeremy probably does hate him after the way he acted.

“Yea…he said you guys had a small spat?” Christine asks reluctantly.  
“Small…yeah Christine that's a lie. I mocked him, and then he mocked me. He called me a loser…and I stormed out….why am I telling this to you?” Michael asks.  
“Probably a part of you that wants to release the pressure you've been feeling from it all.” Christine responds.  
“But is he okay?” Michael asks ignoring what Christine just said.  
“Michael, I'll be honest with you…I'm not sure.” Christine sighs. “And this is terrible timing.”

Michael goes to walk out of the car, but his muscles tense when Christine mentions timing. Is there anytime for Jeremy, the most amazing person in Michael's life, to be sick? No! But…Christine is normally so cheery, and maybe there's something wrong.

“What do you mean?” Michael asks looking back at her.  
“I mean, that…I don't really want to be taking care of him. Don't get me wrong, he's a sweetheart, I just don't…” Christine pauses.

Michael feels his heart flutter. Is this his chance? His chance to be Jeremy's hero? Michael is hopelessly in love with the boy, and he lives for a chance to kiss him. Hold him. Something.

“Christine, I know we aren't the closest of friends, but Jeremy's my best friend. Talk to me.” Michael says almost hoping he will hear exactly what he wants to hear.  
“I just..I don't love him. I like someone else…and I don't want to break his heart.”

Alarms go off in Michael's head. Doesn't love him? First of all, how is that even possible? Jeremy is the cutest person in the entire person! Most adorable thing to ever exist! And someone else? That means Michael could….he doesn't even know Jeremy's sexuality anyways. What's the point?

“Hey, that's what I'm here for. We can get him all better, and then you can break the news. I'll make sure he's okay.” Michael says, being surprisingly nice to Christine, the girl who's about to break Jeremy's heart.  
“Thanks Michael…I think we should go in now.” Christine sighs as Michael nods.

Michael wants to sprint into the house, but walks cautiously towards the door instead. Michael doesn't want to scare his best friend, if he's in pain, being scared won't be fun.

“Christine, where is he exactly?”  
“Bedroom…but maybe not anymore.” Christine says looking upward.

He knows Christine has never seen Jeremy a wreck before, so she must think he's fine. Michael knows. He sees the bathroom light on and he shoves the door open with his shoulder sprinting up the stairs. He leaves Christine in the cold outdoors and sees Jeremy with blood streaking down his arm. This was definitely SQUIP caused.

“JEREMY! DROP THE RAZOR NOW!” Michael shouts wrapping him in an embrace.  
“MICHAEL!” Jeremy shouts wearily.

Jeremy is relieved to see Michael jump to his rescue. Michael finds the start of the cut and doesn't let it shake him…yet. Michael bandages Jeremy up quickly stopping the blood.

“What the fuck did you thing you were doing?” Michael says sternly. He is going to kill Christine for leaving him alone.  
“I wanna make it stop.” Jeremy is sobbing.

Michael can tell what's happened to Jeremy all ready. He's got a high fever, and his chest is unsteady only contracting with the static he can feel in his heart. He knows Jeremy's head is probably throbbing because he can hear the SQUIP. Michael knows because he's always the one who takes care of Jeremy

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Michael says lifting Jeremy's face. “Doing that will not make it stop.” Michael says.

Michael can hear Christine from down the hall. Jeremy sinks into Michael's arms. Michael gives a warm smile. He has wanted this for so long…but Christine just might ruin that.

“Is that Christine?” Jeremy asks.

Christine is in the doorway and she stops seeing Michael holding her boyfriend, and a bloody razor. She sees Jeremy bleeding and sobbing in Michael's arms; Jeremy's eyes once so bright, now clouded with fever.

“What happened?” Christine asks shocked.  
“Mikey, make it stop.” Jeremy whines covering his ears now hoping to block out the voice.

Jeremy stumbles everywhere and Michael forces him to sit. Michael throws the razor out. Jeremy clings to Michael's leg as he leans over talking quietly to Christine.

“He's panicked and distressed. Don't worry…I got this.” Michael says calmly reaching his down.

Jeremy grabs Michael's hand quickly; Michael can feel the burning in Jeremy's skin. He turns the bath on making the water ice cold. It's probably the only way to get Jeremy to cool down. Michael takes Jeremy's cardigan off of him and he's loved striped shirt. They're Jeremy's favorite items of clothing, and the cardigan will shrink in the bath. Michael also adores how Jeremy looks in them.

“Are you sure?” Christine asks Michael almost sounding cheery again.  
“Yes.” Michael looks at Jeremy who's only looking at him. “If you want to break his heart, do it now.” Michael says. “I'm assuming you're leaving.”  
Christine nods. “Jeremy…can you look at me?”

Jeremy clings to Michael closer. Michael sits on the floor, Jeremy sits in his lap. He looks up at Christine scared, making her wonder if he heard the whispers.

“Jeremy, Michael is going to take good care of you, I promise.” Christine says calmly. “I just…I know this isn't the best time, but we need to break up.” Jeremy looks empty inside. “I like someone else…and I just don't love you.”  
Jeremy nods. “Okay.” He starts crying worse.

Michael smiles at Christine a bit who's being very strong. Christine leaves the house and Michael notices the bathtub is practically filled up. He scoops Jeremy up and places him in there, still with his jeans on. Jeremy shudders at the cold, but sighs in relief because he's body's burning. Michael moves a few strands of hair from his face. His face is almost as hot as the fire Rich set at Jake's house.

“Jer, I'm gonna go get you some new clothes to change into…and some ice, think you can stay here?” Michael asks.

Jeremy nods. Michael takes all of the razors out of the bathroom placing them somewhere Jeremy won't reach, Michael is taller than Jeremy. Michael runs into Jeremy's room and can only find pants for his best friend. Michael shrugs returning to the bathroom with ice in a bag which he dumps into the bath to keep Jeremy cool.

“You have no shirts clean dude.” Michael comments as Jeremy shrugs. “How are you doing, buddy?”

Jeremy is shivering, but he knows it's helping. It hurts to look at Michael because of what he has said. How could he hurt Michael like this? Again. He doesn't even care that Christine broke up with him, it didn't matter….after a few dates he seemed to like someone else as well anyhow.

“I hurt you.” Jeremy says quietly shivering. “I'm so sorry, Mikey.”

Jeremy almost never calls Michael that, only when he's really hurting or super drunk or higher than a kite! Michael knows his boy needs him, but something seems to be holding Jeremy back.

“No, buddy it's okay. We both said things we didn't mean.” Michael takes a deep breath and presses his hand to Jeremy's head. “Your temp is going down.” He smiles. “I'm sorry too.”

Jeremy looks puzzled at Michael. His shivers getting even more vicious, he looks at Michael who has nothing but sympathy in his eyes. Jeremy knows right then….Michael thinks he loves Christine….but he doesn't. He loves him.

“It's freezing Mikey.” Jeremy complains. “Hasn't the temp gone down enough?” Jeremy says wrapping his arms around his torso.  
“Let's take a look…will you let me put a thermometer in your mouth?” Michael asks grabbing one from a medicine cabinet.  
“If it gets me out of this frozen hell.” Jeremy says trying to laugh forgetting his pain.

Michael smiles. Jeremy is just the cutest thing he's ever laid his eyes on, even with the sickness inside of him, he's just flawless. Michael sticks the thermometer in the miserable Jeremy's mouth. Michael takes it out. The fever is under a hundred, that's a good sign. Jeremy is trembling in the cold bath water and Michael sees his lips start to go blue.

“Please Michael.” Jeremy pleads.  
“Yes, yes okay.” Michael says.

Michael helps the boy out of the tub and turns away letting him change his pants. Michael realizes Jeremy still doesn't have a shirt…but…maybe he will want to sleep shirtless? Michael decides it doesn't sound like his Jeremy; Michael yanks off his red sweatshirt revealing the t-shirt he wears under it. He gives it to the shaking Jeremy. Jeremy pauses.

“You really trust me with that?” Jeremy asks, shivering less.  
“I'd trust you with my life.” Michael says putting it on Jeremy.

Jeremy keeps the hood on his damp hair, somehow it get soaked in the bath, hiding the blush creeping into his face from his ears. He's wearing Michael's Sweatshirt. He felt warm inside. He feels his heartbeat. The voices in his head fade.

“Mikey…” Jeremy is breathless, at a loss for words.  
“All right, let's get you to bed, buddy.” Michael says quietly.

Jeremy swings his arms around Michael and Michael helps back to his room. Jeremy lies down in his bed and Michael pulls up a chair to sit next to him.

“I'm sorry you're sick.” Michael says looking at Jeremy with love in his eyes.

Michael longs to hold the pale, paler than normal actually, boy in his arms, and press kisses against his soft peachy lips. The boy with galaxies in eyes, tell sweet nothings to him. Tell him, it only hurts because he loves him, and has ever since he realized he was gay! He doesn't want anyone else, but this lanky twink.

“It's not your fault.” Jeremy says softly  
“You stopped eating.” Michael replies quickly  
“I was stressed.”  
“Because I walked out on you.”

The four sentences being let out in the matter of only a one second. Jeremy cringes thinking about Michael storming out on him. Jeremy really fucked up, but he wanted Michael to come back. That's why he hadn't left the house since Wednesday. He stopped eating because he was nervous; his stomach simply bubbling at the thought of Michael hating him forever. He wants to stare into his chocolate eyes and feel warm like he did when he had the courage to look at Michael. He wants to to stay in Michael's sweatshirt and cuddle with him wrapping Michael in the fabric. Jeremy wants to shelter and protect Michael from harm…but he seems to be the one who caused it…and it's something he may never be able to admit.

“It's not like that made me stop eating.”  
“Bullshit Jeremy.” Michael responds quickly knowing Jeremy is hurting. “I didn't mean to hurt you like that, and storming out was ridiculous.” Michael pauses. “I'm sorry.”  
“Sorry doesn't mend a broken heart.” Jeremy replies.

Michael freezes for a moment remembering Christine had just dumped Jeremy. He's pissed at Christine for doing that to him.

“I'm sorry Christine-“  
“This isn’t about Christine.” Jeremy admits sinking into Michael's hoodie

Michael feels a blush surface on his face with how adorable Jeremy is being. Jeremy holed up in his red sweatshirt that's obviously too big on him. The fabric swallows Jeremy in, and Jeremy feels safe in it.

“Then what's this about Player two?” Michael asks wanting to reach to Jeremy, but doesn't want his blush to intensify.  
“I can't tell you.”  
“You can tell me anything Jeremy.” Michael sighs. “I promise Jer, I'll stay calm.”

When Michael makes a promise, he never breaks that problem. Jeremy and Michael's bond is strong like glue, and they didn't need anything to crack it.

“Michael..” Jeremy whispers quietly. “I just can't.”  
“Is this you talking or the thing in your head Jer?” Michael asks. There's a silence and it makes Michael uncomfortable. “Jer?” He repeats softly.

Jeremy seriously debates to himself admitting to Michael how much of a crush he has on him. He doubts it'll go over well.

“I don't know.” Jeremy replies quickly. “It's me.” His breath picks up. “I'm just scared.”

Michael looks at the scared Jeremy with his hands on the hood that's consuming his entire head. The sleeves baggy on the Jeremy who's curled in a ball. Just the read sweatshirt and his Star Wars pants…Michael smiles seeing how adorable Jeremy is being. Jeremy looks at him and Michael hides the smile as best he can.

“Jer, come here.” Michael sits on the bed next to Jeremy letting Jeremy lay in his lap. “What's wrong buddy?”  
“Nothing's wrong I just…” Jeremy freezes.

His blush intensifies, this is so beyond embarrassing, and Jeremy can't take it. He winces at the pain he feels in his chest. He looks up at Michael, making Michael's heart melt.

“I don't love Christine, I didn't after awhile…it's someone else.” Jeremy admits quickly feeling his chest heat up.

Michael feels his heartbeat increase, and there's pulsing in his ears. Is this really it? His moment? The moment he's been waiting for his entire life.

“Someone else?” Michael asks.  
“Yeah..”  
“Well Jer? Can you tell me who it is?” Michael stays calm living on a single hope believing it’s him.

Jeremy wants to tell Michael, but his stomach starts to boil again. Every instinct in his body is telling him that this will go wrong, and Michael will actually leave forever this time when he walks out the door.

“Jer, seriously. I don’t care if it’s Chloe or Brooke or that bitchy freshmen! Or even that geeky sophomore that reminds me of myself!” Michael says. “Just tell me.”  
“It’s a guy.”

Michael freezes. A guy? What does this mean? What is Jeremy’s sexuality? Is he gay? Is he bi? IS JEREMY GAY FOR HIM?

“I’m bi.” Jeremy says underneath his breath.  
“Jeremy! I’m so happy.” Michael says. “How long have you known?”  
“Since freshmen year.”  
“I’m glad you told me.” Michael smiles.

Jeremy nuzzles into Michael, glad Michael accepts him. Why wouldn’t Michael accept him? There’s a pride patch on Michael’s sweatshirt.

“Will you tell me who you like?” Michael asks again sweetly.  
“I’m scared.” Jeremy squeaks.  
“I know buddy, but I don’t care who it is!”  
“You should.”  
“Why is that Jer?”  
“Cause it’s you.”

Michael feels his heart stop beating for a few seconds. Is this some sort of trick? Michael’s been in love with Jeremy since forever. Since he knew he was gay. Is this really happening? Michael is at a complete loss for words, and then he sees the Jeremy that’s in his lap. Jeremy’s frightened and his eyes are shut. Michael suddenly doesn’t care if this is some kind of trick. Michael pulls Jeremy up so he’s sitting. Michael grabs Jeremy’s face and just kisses.

“Mikey?”  
“I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.” Michael says like he’s just been carry around the wait of the world since middle school.  
“How long?”  
“Since I knew…I was gay.” Michael says holding Jeremy with pure delight.

Jeremy stretches a smile across his flushed face. He kisses Michael again making the moment even more blissful.

“I love you Michael.”  
“I love you too Jeremy.”

Sorry doesn’t mend a broken heart, but that does.


End file.
